The racial justice uprisings this summer made us think that maybe real change was finally coming.
But the recent presidential election (where more white people chose Trump than in 2016) was stark evidence of
just how much work there is left to do. For white people who have woken to the horrors of racial injustice, there is much to learn and unlearn, but knowing the facts isn’t enough. Facts live in our heads, but our relationships live in our emotions and in our bodies and, when push comes to shove, our emotions will usually win out. To address racial injustice in a profound way we need to learn how to build meaningful relationships with those outside our racial group.
There are specific emotional skills needed to show up for racial justice, skills we all can learn.
The problem, for white people, is our relationships with people of color, with other white people, and ultimately, with ourselves, have been tainted by the values of whiteness.
Our conflict avoidance, fear of public rebuke, and sense of entitlement are hindrances for even the most well-meaning white people.
We must learn to sit with our own discomfort, brave the difficult conversations, and to allow ourselves to make mistakes. We must learn to shuck off the layers of self protection, presumed innocence, and internalized superiority. At its essence, this work is about learning to love ourselves and each other, not from a place of benevolent charity, nor from guilty self-subjugation, but from an inner strength that makes space for each of us to be fully human.
Building emotional skills is not a self-improvement project for white people or a replacement for educating ourselves about, and taking action on, racial justice issues.
This isn’t about our individual ego. It’s about learning the skills that will facilitate the work that needs to be done to achieve the goal of a free and just world. This inner work is a necessary complement to more concrete and familiar aspects of showing up for racial justice.
What You Will Learn:
In this class we will teach you the emotional skills that lead to a more grounded, sustainable approach to racial justice. We will look at the power dynamics we’ve been steeped in, and offer ways to shift those dynamics. Participants will learn these fundamental skills so that they can let go of the pressure of maintaining individual “goodness” in favor of societal justice.
In this class, we focus on the essential skills of: • Curiosity
How “not knowing” is strength
• Attention
Why shifting our focus is critical
• Compassion
Why including ourselves in those to whom we extend compassion is essential
• Shame Resilience
Shame can be a powerful learning tool; building resilience to fleeing from shame opens us to new levels of learning. We also discuss the important difference
between an internal sense of shame and the behavior of shaming and why shaming never works.
• Collective Solutions
Why shifting from a, “me” framework to an, “we” framework creates freedom
What is this course?
Between Us is a 5-week online course and happens over Zoom. Each class is 2 hours long. Each class will contain lecture, group discussion, and time for questions and answers. Reflection exercises and journaling prompts are suggested for additional integration of the course material.
Who Is It For?
This class is for white people who:
• Want to be emotionally resilient in the face of racial discomfort
• Know that all the statistics in the world won’t fix internalized white supremacy
• Are ready to do the introspective work to make their crucial justice work stronger.
We welcome students who are mixed race and/or white-passing and who would like to unpack their relationship to whiteness, with the caveat and acknowledgement that this space is oriented around white people unlearning white supremacy.
White caucusing (i.e., white people working together with other white people) is a well-established practice in anti-racism work. More information and perspectives on white caucusing can be found by clicking here.
What To Expect:
• Deep conversations
We’ll talk about the structures we’re all stuck in, and how to unstick
What To NOT Expect:
• Shaming
We believe we learn best in an atmosphere of trust
• Judgement
We’re all learning and growing together with our different strengths and weaknesses
• Quick fixes
You’ll have the tools you need, but implementing them is a lifetime’s worth of work
Who We Are:
Omkari (she/her)
For over 30 years, from my career as an actor, my work as a political consultant, and my creativity and life coaching, I’ve been helping others to shape and share their stories as a tool to create lives that fit the truth of who they are. Now I’m using those communication skills to help people find their most effective way of working towards racial justice because, at this time, we need all hands on deck.
Bear (they/them)
I’m Bear Hebert and I’m trying to help us all get a little more free. I'm a white, queer, able-bodied, working class, genderqueer person from the Southern US. I work with creatives and healers around how to build the world yet to come inside this (sometimes hellish, often beautiful) world that currently is.
What Is The Cost?
The course is $550.
If finances are a hurdle, we first encourage thinking creatively. How might you fund-raise or otherwise acquire the money? Who might help you pay for this work? Who do you have in your network with access to funds?
Shame-free payment plans are readily available! You’ll pay $137.50/month for 4 months. Simply use the discount code PAYMENTPLAN to pay your first payment and we’ll sort out the rest.
A limited number of need-based reduced cost spots are available for folks with marginalized identities. Contact Bear for the discount code at bear@bearcoaches.com.
Fine print: Space is limited to 14 people/session. A minimum of 8 students required for the course to run. No refunds or exchanges for any reason with the exception of our cancelling the class.
If you have accessibility needs, please be in touch.
When Is It?
The next session of the course is scheduled for Spring 2021.